Governor DeSantis Claims Lia Thomas is Undeserving of NCAA Win 

(Image taken from Business Insider via Getty Images; Joe Raedle/Getty Images) By Staff Writer Shailyn Bacchiocchi sbacchiocchi@umassd.edu Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R) went on a Twitter rant earlier this week over transgender athlete Lia Thomas’ NCAA win. In a lengthy twitter statement, he stripped Lia Thomas of her title and claimed runner-up Emma Weyant as the true winner.  By allowing men to compete in women’s … Continue reading Governor DeSantis Claims Lia Thomas is Undeserving of NCAA Win 

Zelenskyy: Servant of the People

Staff Writer: Carolyn Doremus cdoremus@umassd.edu Since the February 24th Russian invasion of Ukraine, people living across the globe have become much more aware of the Russo-Ukrainian War, and if they weren’t knowledgeable about the history between the two countries already, have been provided with more information through the news coverage. One name in particular that of course has become more commonly seen across the world … Continue reading Zelenskyy: Servant of the People

The Life or Death of the Dartmouth Indian

By Maya Arruda Email: marruda7@umassdtorch If you’re a commuter student or had any reason to travel off campus in the last month, chances are you’ve noticed the green and white lawn signs saying to “Defend Dartmouth: Vote Yes April 5th” with the picture of a drawing on the side and no other caveat or explanation. Well, if you don’t keep track of local Dartmouth events, … Continue reading The Life or Death of the Dartmouth Indian

Chicken Grab

Staff Writer: Julian Cassady Email: jcassady@umassd.edu *This article is written as a parody for the Torchure. Kentucky Fried Chicken has just announced a special promotion available in select locations, dubbed “Chicken Grab,” which will be available starting on April 1st, 2022. There will be a buffet-style table with various portions of its famously seasoned fried chicken available to customers in the seating area. KFC has … Continue reading Chicken Grab

Guess Who’s Back

By: Maya Arruda Email: marruda7@umassdtorch EDP445 has made his return to social media, despite every single person including your deity of choice not wanting him there. He was more of a niche YouTuber who did a mix of sports coverage, namely the Philadelphia Eagle football team, and more general vlogs reminiscent of a train wreck. Those who only watch mainstream sports media would recognize him … Continue reading Guess Who’s Back

If You Like Archie Comics, Then You Will Love This . . .

Staff Writer: Roxanne Hepburn rhepburn@umassd.edu *This article is written as a parody for the Torchure. Archie Comics has been a beloved comic book series since its creation in 1941 and stands as the longest-running publication to come from M.L.J. Magazines, Inc. The series faced a relaunch in 2015, restarting at issue #1 with a new and improved look designed to draw in a new generation … Continue reading If You Like Archie Comics, Then You Will Love This . . .

Man Declares Himself Galactic Emperor at Senate Meeting

By Maya Arruda Email: marruda7@umassd.edu *This article is written as a parody for the Torture. At the last meeting of the Republic Galactic Senate, Chancellor Sheev Palpatine declared a reformatting of the Republic in order to provide greater galactic stability for not just the men, but the women and children, too, following the attempted Jedi rebellion and the end of the Clone Wars. Before the … Continue reading Man Declares Himself Galactic Emperor at Senate Meeting

Paralympic Games Ban Russia

(image taken from Rueters.com) By Staff Writer Shailyn Bacchiocchi sbacchiocchi@umassd.edu The Paralympic Winter Games announced March 3rd they would no longer be allowing athletes from Russia and Belarus to compete, reversing their decision made just the day before.  These bans come in the wake of the ever-worsening Russian invasion of Ukraine. The U.S. along with Europe has been implementing harsh economical sanctions against Russia, and … Continue reading Paralympic Games Ban Russia

Cryptocurrency: Future or Failure

By Maya Arruda Email: marruda7@umassd.edu If you live in the U.S., you were asked when filing taxes this year if you bought or traded any Bitcoin. It may have been a bit of a surprising question. I was amazed that something that seemed to exist solely on the internet would actually gain the attention of the IRS. My older relatives, especially my grandparents, didn’t even … Continue reading Cryptocurrency: Future or Failure