This is a source of parody, satire, and humor and is for entertainment purposes only, published for the week of April Fools. Said posts or stories may or may not use real names, always in semi-real and/or mostly, or substantially, fictitious ways. As the purpose of said stories is to entertain and amuse and not to disparage any persons, or institutions, in any way and no malice is intended toward anyone or anything, nor should any be construed from the satirically based stories and fake news items. This is not a source of facts or real information. That means all items or stories published for Issue 20 of The Torch are fictitious.
By Dylan Botelho, Staff Writer
As first reported by ESPN’s Adam Schefter on Sunday, April 1, wide receiver Danny Amendola has decided to remain with the New England Patriots on a 2-year, $12 million contract.
Amendola was originally South Beach bound after signing a 2-year $12 million contract with the Miami Dolphins. The 32 year old wide receiver said he made the decision to sign with Miami early in free agency so that he would have the open availability to travel there for the upcoming Ultra music festival. After the electric dance music festival concluded, Amendola decided to revisit his current contract, ultimately deciding to retire.
Upon his retirement, Amendola was no longer under a contractual agreement with the Miami Dolphins and was able to return to play in the NFL with whatever team he chooses. That team was of course, the New England Patriots.
The announcement that Amendola would be returning with the Patriots happened only one hour and nine minutes after his official retirement.
Amendola was interviewed upon returning to New England from the Ultra music festival and was asked about the situation. He said, “At the end of the day, I know I have the best shot to win a championship here. Plus, I didn’t realize that Jay Cutler and Jarvis Landry aren’t on that team anymore. I mean those are the only two guys whose names I’d ever heard of.”
Moving to a new team only to return back in New England not shortly thereafter isn’t anything new in the New England Patriots organization. If you do recall, Patriots offensive coordinator, Josh McDaniels had originally accepted the head-coaching position in Indianapolis with the Colts, only to announce he’ll be staying in New England the same day he was to have his official press conference with the Colts.
Amendola spoke on coach McDaniels’ influence on him during his decision saying, “I pulled a page out of coach McDaniels’ book. That man has teached me a lot since I’ve been here in New England and one of the most important things has been to not go to a garbage franchise… or anywhere else actually. I mean, the rest are pretty garbage compared to us anyway.”
With Amendola retuning the Patriots will look to make another run at the Super Bowl after failing to defeat the Philadelphia Eagles last season. If the team manages to stay healthy, we could see a dominant trio of wide receivers for Tom Brady to throw to, with Brandin Cooks returning for his second season and star wide receiver Julian Edelman coming back from an ACL injury that kept him out for the entirety of the 2017-18 season.
The Dolphins however, are now without both of their premier wide receivers for the upcoming season after trading away Jarvis Landry to the Cleveland Browns. Even their quarterback situation is not full under control. Ryan Tannehill is expected to be ready for OTA’s after missing all of last season but may never be the very mediocre quarterback he once was, which spells disaster for the Miami Dolphins.