Staff Editor: Vivian Rose Galindo

Email: vivian.galindo@umassd.edu

The Life of a Showgirl is a 2025 album by artist Taylor Swift. Swift needs no introduction—if you don’t know Taylor Swift, you’re lying.

This article is a critical review of that album. This review is just opinions and should not be taken as anything other than that. 

Along with myself, I listened to the album with my roommates Jess Desrosiers and Dan Harriman. Occasionally, I will include quotes from them.

There is a LOT to talk about in this album, and it would not do it justice to spend too much time on introductions. Without further ado, here are my honest reactions and opinions on all 12 songs released on the album.

Track 1

The first song on the album is called “The Fate of Ophelia.” In this song, Taylor Swift describes how she has avoided the fate of Shakespeare’s tragic heroine from the ever-famous play Hamlet.

Despite this, the song really doesn’t feel like Swift has ever read the play. She makes references to being “locked in a tower,” which feels more akin to Rapunzel, and being “dug… out of [her] grave,” which feels more horror-esque. 

It does, at the very least, make some allusions to Ophelia’s true fate: death by drowning.

This song was fine, but not great. I give it a 4/10.

Track 2

The next song, “Elizabeth Taylor”, is named after a late actress who Swift referenced in her past song “…Ready for It?”

Where the other song had fairly decent lyrics and rhythm but fell flat on the literary allusions, this song presented none of the above. This song also begins a running theme that this album is full of—Taylor Swift’s persecution complex.

She brings up how she’s always being criticized, which may be true, but coming from a billionaire, her complaints just sound like petulant whining. This song got a 2/10 from me, though my roommates tended to rank it higher, with Dan putting it on the same level as the last song.

Track 3

The third song, “Opalite”, is about going through hardship and finding the right person for you. Opalite is a form of opal, which is the birthstone for October, which is the month Taylor Swift’s fiance, Travis Kelce, was born.

Relative to the last two songs, this one was inoffensive and fairly catchy. I give it a 5/10.

Track 4

The fourth song, “Father Figure,” is about being exploited in the music industry, something that Swift unfortunately has had experience with.

Swift was signed by a man named Scott Borchetta, who eventually sold the rights to her songs after she left, forcing her to re-release all of them to make money off of them. This is why, in recent times, there have been a lot of albums released by her under the subtitle of “Taylor’s Version.”

Overall, the song is okay. Relative to the other songs in the album thus far, this one actually has a good deal of emotion within it. I gave it a 6/10.

Track 5

The fifth song in the album is titled “Eldest Daughter.”

Before listening to the song, Jess gave me a quick warning: “For context, Taylor Swift says ‘trolling’ and ‘memes’ in this song. In the first verse.”

Honestly, that alone was not enough context for this song. This song made me feel something, and that was anger. 

I would describe it as “millennial in music form,” but that might be offensive to millennials. Swift’s persecution complex does come back big in this one, where she describes her “terminal uniqueness.”

I did not want to finish this song, but I did for journalistic integrity’s sake. I genuinely wish I did not. 

This one gets a 1/10 (and don’t worry, it’s not even the worst song on the playlist).

Track 6

The sixth song, “Ruin the Friendship,” is about missing the chance to be with someone and regretting it. 

The boy who the song is about died suddenly after Swift left school, and the track takes a moment to sit on this in what is a genuine moment of emotion. 

The genuine emotion is then run over by the need for a big finisher. The ending of this song genuinely felt tasteless, and earned it a 3/10 from me.

Track 7

The seventh song, “Actually Romantic,” is allegedly a diss track about fellow artist Charli XCX. If it is, it would be a response to Charli XCX’s own song, “Sympathy is a knife.”

Even without this context, the song is bad. Swift portrays herself as petulant, catty, and obnoxious in the eyes of criticism, trying to seem above it, but seeming so, so below it.

My roommate Dan said, “She feels like a straight woman in a gay bar.”

The alleged context just makes the song that much worse, especially since “Sympathy is a knife” actually goes out of its way to characterize the callous, mean thoughts Charli XCX has about other women (including, allegedly, Taylor Swift) as bad, a result of her own jealousy, and not the way she really wants to portray herself.

Overall, this song is tasteless and mean. It doesn’t deserve a rating, but I gave it a 1/10.

Track 8

The eighth song on the tracklist is called “Wi$h Li$t,” and is about Swift’s desire for a simpler life. She characterizes herself as someone who wants love more than money.

Coming from a billionaire who is singing this to her millionaire fiance, I don’t find it charming, I find it tone deaf. She also makes a very liberal use of the f-word, which makes her sound like she’s trying too hard.

I give it a 2/10.

Track 9

“Wood” is the ninth song on the album. It is about Travis Kelce’s private parts. No, that’s not a joke, but yes, I wish it was.

What should be a joke is that this is one of the better songs in the album. Despite cringey, nonsensical lyrics, the tune is catchy, and it at least makes me feel something. I gave it a 3/10.

Track 10

The tenth song in the album is called “CANCELLED!”

Were it not for “Actually Romantic,” this would be my least favorite song of all time. Taylor Swift’s persecution complex is personified in this song, and it is just as bad as it sounds.

The lyrics in this song feel like all the old edgy Taylor Swift quotes put together, without a hint of irony. “Did you girlboss too close to the sun?” It would be funny if it weren’t trying so hard.

The way Swift acts as though everyone has made mistakes like her before does make me wonder how often the average person travels in a private jet. 

Just abysmal. 1/10.

Track 11

The eleventh song, “Honey,” is the best song in the album by far. Seriously, it’s not even a contest.

While not the most original lyrics in the world, the song has a similar vibe to other songs in Swift’s catalogue, like “Love Story,” “Lover,” and “Paper Rings.” I very deeply enjoy all of those songs, and this song uses a tried and true tactic to replicate their positive energy. 

7/10.

Track 12

The twelfth and final song is the title track, “The Life of a Showgirl,” which features Sabrina Carpenter. This song is about being famous and whether or not the fame and fortune is good or bad.

Honestly, this song just feels like nothing. It doesn’t help that it sounds exactly like “Cool” by the Jonas Brothers.

The worst part of this song is how much more presence Sabrina Carpenter has than Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is not a bad singer, she has a career for a reason, but this album just feels like she did it more for the money than the love of the art. This last song gets a 2/10.

Final Remarks

Honestly, this album just made me sad. As I’ve vaguely alluded to at parts of the article, I used to really love Swift’s music, and some of her work is still very near and dear to my heart.

This album, her coming-out of sorts after her engagement, feels so corporate and soulless. At times it’s clear that there is something there, especially in “Father Figure” and “Honey,” but it feels like she knows she’s famous and so she doesn’t have to try anymore.

Overall, this album gets a 2.5/10. I can maybe understand why someone would listen to it, but I will never listen to any of it again.

My final ranking of songs, from best to worst, is:

• “Honey,” with a 7/10.
• “Father Figure,” with a 6/10.
• “Opalite,” with a 5/10.
• “The Fate of Ophelia,” with a 4/10.
• “Wood,” with a 3/10.
• “Ruin the Friendship,” with a 3/10.
• “The Life of a Showgirl (ft. Sabrina Carpenter),” with a 2/10.
• “Elizabeth Taylor,” with a 2/10.
• “Wi$h Li$t,” with a 2/10.
• “Eldest Daughter,” with a 1/10.
• “CANCELLED!,” with a 1/10.
• “Actually Romantic,” with a 1/10.

If you disagree and enjoy the songs in this album, I am happy for you. And if you think I’m the wrong audience for Taylor Swift: I’m a white woman in the 21st century. Who else does she make music for?

If you’ve never listened to Taylor Swift before (or even if you have), I’d recommend skipping this album and going to enjoy an old classic like Fearless (Taylor’s Version) or Lover.