The very severe case of Senioritis

senioritis....MICHAELLALESIEUR
By Michaella Lesieur, Staff Writer

Have you been feeling a little bit nauseated lately, maybe some lack of motivation, and extreme partying over the past consecutive days? Well…The Torch is no doctor but we think you have a case of the senioritis.

Senioritis is most known to effect seniors and the symptoms can vary from person to person. However, watch out because it is extremely contagious. The only way to treat it is to follow this exact guide outlined here for success.

This case has invaded the whole UMass Dartmouth senior population and you might want to get back to your apartments (or house) fast and get to work because graduation is just around the corner.

First and foremost, on the list to getting rid of your senioritis is to hand all of your assignments in on time or even before the due date.
Students want to walk the stage free from senioritis and the only way will be to finish off the semester strong.

Senior psychology major Courtney Pink believes to have started with the symptoms very early on. While being rated on her severity on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the strongest she rated herself a 7. “7 because I wanted it to be May in September.”

The symptoms are straightforward; however they can depend on each individual student and vary from case to case. “Wishing you were a first-year again, watery eyes (aka crying all the time), stomach pain and wishing May was here in September,” said Pink.

In order to treat a mild to severe case of senioritis you have to make sure you are focused. You have to eat a well-balanced diet at Wendy’s, packed with French fries and double cheeseburgers, every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

When getting, your z’s make sure to sleep a solid 2 hours a night, and take no naps during the day. This will allow you to be full of energy.

Watching movies is a plus and you could also go down the route of spending some of that time with your best buds. “By hanging out with friends and watching movies,” said Pink.

Second on the list is to drink lots of coffee, we are talking a couple in the morning and few throughout the day. Just to make sure you are energized. Next, take some of your time during the day and workout those triceps with a good old binge watch of your favorite Netflix show. It will be your best trip to the gym ever.

Senior English writing major Grandma Pearl treats it with nothing but a day full of excuses. “I take a huge dose of ‘excuses’ every morning. There is no way I can get through the day without them. My parents always told me that ‘excuses are addicting’ and I didn’t believe it until now.”

You cannot just have one you must have a whole bunch of excuses in line to use whenever you need one. “I can’t go a day without popping at least 9 of them,” said Grandma Pearl. “I make ‘excuses,’ I give ‘excuses,’ I even sell them. It’s a great business to get into!”

Also, remember that candy is key. Stop by the campus school store and stock up your stash on all your sugary favorites. From gummy bears to gummy worms, Hershey bars and Kit Kat’s, you want to make sure your case is treated the right way.

Senioritis is very contagious so make sure you are not spreading any kind of germs. Instead of staying home in bed make sure to go to class, that way you do not miss any second of the lecture.

By following these effortless tips and tricks you will be sure to be senioritis free and living the life of your dreams.

Photo Courtesy: Chelsea Cabral

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