By Staff Writer Eric Sousa
Now this might come as a surprise to you, but the online community feels a strong presumption that Jeff Epstein, convicted sex trafficker and high-society connector, did not kill himself. There is a solid reasoning behind this presumption, as well as conflicting examiner diagnoses on the nature of the injury. There is uncertainty riddled throughout this situation from head to toe, but one thing is certain throughout it; stupid Facebook memes have catapulted this sentiment into mainstream media.
On July 9th, Epstein was convicted on charges of conspiracy to commit sex trafficking, among a litany of other offenses. This spurned great interest in the public; as a notorious public figure with a vast network of powerful political connections, this was revolutionary. A powerfully connected figure was convicted; what’s more, this figure was set up to spill the beans on multiple “untouchable” political figures in our nation.
Many famous figures have been recorded visiting Epstein’s private island in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Locally, it was dubbed “Orgy Island” or “Pedophile Island.” Because of the previous allegations of the island, and Epstein’s own corrupt history, it foreshadowed an avalanche of accusations. Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, and Donald Trump have been noted having close correspondence with Epstein on multiple occasions.
As soon as Epstein’s conviction became public, the world wondered if this was the straw that would break an unbreakable society’s back. It’s an unfortunate trope in our political climate that the more powerful a figure is, the more likely they’ll avoid consequence from the law. Epstein, being a closely-connected figure, offering irrefutable evidence would have spelled disaster for a slew of political figures.
On August 10th, 2019, Jeff Epstein was found to have hanged himself in his room. The chief medical examiner staffed at this time declared it a suicide in the autopsy report. This was met with… let’s call it disbelief. After all, what are the odds?
It just so happens that the most important convict in our nation, one that was in the hotseat and at the center of all this controversy, wasn’t under proper surveillance? Many other codes of conduct were not followed. Epstein’s roommate was removed without a replacement. The two guards meant to check on him both fell asleep… both of them. Also, the two cameras outside his cell were malfunctioning.
Is this the New Bedford port or does something smell fishy here?
In response to this, the internet community started a meme where they would subtly include the line “Epstein didn’t kill himself.” Into a body of text. It was like a sleeper cell inclusion, haunting many a ‘wholesome’ meme on the internet.
No meme was safe, nothing was sacred. Cat memes, memes with sunset backdrops promising life advice, horoscope memes, even motivational workout memes. It developed to a point where people knew to look for them, like a controversial easter egg. My personal favorite was a cup of coffee with the reflected phrase “Still didn’t kill himself,” on the top of the brew.
At one point, famous UFC commentator and ex-host of Fear Factor Joe Rogan shared one of these Epstein memes with his 7.8 million Instagram followers. It even made appearances on the news; interviewed passerby’s for innocuous reasons would use their moment of fame to drop the famous phrase into the camera.
Whether this was done ironically or with underlying sincerity, the internet community refused to let the concept die. What started as memes began to burgeon into the physical universe. Coffee shops began to include references to this, graffiti artists took up part of the mantle to place the concept on run-down buildings. The United States felt a connection to keeping this concept alive.
I’m not saying that the U.S. has spidey senses or anything like that, but on October 30th a new report from a separate chief inspector declared Epstein’s injuries to be more in line with homicide than suicide. They referenced specified damage to the larynx as well as bloodshot eyes, which are more prevalent in strangulation. Ladies and gentlemen, the controversy has entered Stage 2.
It’s important for people to do their own research, follow their own hunches, reach their own conclusions. All of the facts are not yet known, and I’m sure they will slowly spill out over the next few months. That’s something we’ve all seen before; the controversy outlasts the public passion, and then the revealed information gathers no traction.
Hell, look at the Keystone pipeline. It was a large controversy with immense public opposition… until, very suddenly, the public forgot to care. The pipeline went through, and a few weeks ago the damned thing spilled. The fears of the locals turned out to be true, but the public did absolutely nothing in response to the spill. Sometimes the traction for a controversy dies before the hammer falls. This does not benefit society, but fully benefits the guilty party.
Maybe that’s why, in this instance, the accusers are refusing to fall from the limelight. Maybe that’s why people are continuously finding newer, funnier, and weirder ways to make the statement prevalent—so we don’t forget this time. Maybe this unconventional stubbornness is part of our generation’s attempt to keep our America honest. If that’s the case, than by god I’m proud to be a part of this America.
Because Epstein almost certainly did not kill himself. And as funny as that meme is, the implications are terrifying.