(Photographed by Staff Writer Aidan Danforth)
Attention all Umass Dartmouth students! The Torch is proud to announce a new organization forming on campus called the Dartmouth Geese Lovers Association (DGLA).
Starting every Wednesday at 5 pm, fellow UMass Dartmouth students can gather by the pond near the entrance of the university to talk about their love for the geese on campus. But it won’t be just students一geese selected by the club’s g-board will make appearances at each week’s meeting.
The goal of this club is to bring awareness to the importance of caring for our geese on campus as well as bringing together like minded individuals, both human and animal, to create a community accessible for everyone.
To join this club, you must do two things. First, you have to log on to MyOrgs, type in “Dartmouth Geese Lovers Association,” and ask to join the org. Second, you must email gooseking@umassd.edu a selfie of yourself with a goose.
If you don’t feel comfortable submitting a picture, you can instead send a 500 word essay about how much you love geese, including your contributions to bringing geese awareness on campus.
Once you do that, you’re in!
When you come by the pond, a member of the g-board will be there to check you in. They will ask for a QR code that you will receive once you complete the requirements.
If you’re on the fence about joining this organization, here are a few insights from fellow UMassD geese. These geese were specifically selected to best showcase what the club has to offer.
The first goose, Jeffrey, goes in depth with why he thinks students should join. He claims “Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk, honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk”.
Madison conveys a similar explanation. She added, “honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk, honk honk, honk honk honk honk honk”.
Bobby was the final goose the org’s media team interviewed. He offered a totally unique perspective on the importance of this org. He claimed, “Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk”.
Jeffrey, Madison, and Bobby will each be at the club’s first meeting. Each of them look forward to engaging and interacting with all the students that attend!
The club’s first meeting will be on Wednesday, April 5th at 5 pm by the pond. There, you will be greeted by the club’s g-board, consisting of both humans and geese. The meeting will begin with some icebreakers as well as some introductions.
Then, they will explain the main activity of the meeting: a race down the pond. Both humans and geese can participate. Students will even get the opportunity to race from the perspective of a goose.
Special goose costumes will be provided so students can embrace the life of the creatures in order to gain new perspectives. The winner will receive a $20 Dunkin Donuts gift card and will be inducted into the DGLA hall of fame.
The org looks forward to further educating UMassD’s students around the importance of taking care of the geese on this campus. They hope this will result in a more peaceful campus where students no longer throw rocks and treat the geese like they don’t belong.
As UMass Dartmouth continues to foster a more inclusive world for all students that attend, the g-board hopes the same can happen for our wildlife on this campus and create a community where both students and geese can thrive!
(This article is written as a parody for Torchure.)