Trump Returns to WWE for WrestleMania 33


By Snake-Face Williams, Staff Writer

In four days the WWE will hold its most popular annual event WrestleMania.

WrestleMania 33 is being held in Orlando, Fla., at the Camping World Arena and will feature one very special guest, who is no stranger to the ring…or the White House.

Yes ladies and gentlemen you heard it here first, the WWE has announced that Donald Trump is making his long awaited return to the ring. While Trump is a WWE Celebrity Hall of Fame Inductee, he claims he still has a lot to prove in the ring.

“Being President is great and all, but this isn’t my passion….wrestling is. I held WrestleMania at Trump Plaza back in 1991 and it was huge, let me tell you; we did great things. But, now the time has come for me to truly make my mark on this country and defeat Bray Wyatt at WrestleMania 33 for the WWE Championship.”

Oh yeah, it’s happening. President Trump has called out current WWE Champion Bray Wyatt, and Wyatt responded by accepting the challenge with some harsh words.

“Last year’s election may have been a joke, but my body slam ain’t! I’m coming in hot and fast, Trump better get ready because I’m showing no mercy.”

It has also been rumored that despite Wyatt’s trash talk, Trump is as confident in his wrestling ability as he was in his political career and may have put his presidency on the line.

Despite much scrutiny from Democrats and Republicans alike, Trump says that if he loses to Wyatt he’ll give him the Oval Office and the keys to the nuclear codes.

The WWE has billed the fight as the Clash for the Capital and expects this WrestleMania to be its most viewed ever as the winner not only will be crowned WWE Champion, but also President of the United States.

While only about a quarter of Americans voted in this past election, the WWE expects over half of Americans to view the Clash for the Capital.

When American college student Mitch Thornberry was asked why he was going to watch the Clash, but didn’t vote his response was very clear.

“Debates are boring, if I wanted to watch two people argue about things I don’t care about, I’d drive home and have dinner with my parents. Wrestling is great though, there is nothing more American than two grown adults getting into a ring and beating on each other for a few hours.”

Apparently Mitch and Trump aren’t alone though, as even Hillary Clinton has chimed in, claiming she’d like a shot in the ring with Trump and would like to see the American political process changed to reflect this main event.

Clinton said “I may have mismanaged my campaign into oblivion and lost to the most favorable candidate the RNC could have thrown at me, but I’ll beat Trump in the ring. That’s not a threat, that’s a promise and after I beat him, I want Lewinksy next.”

The WWE has made it very clear to Clinton that they are very into the idea and rumors have started swirling that the two parties are dangerously close to locking a two-year agreement, that would see Trump and Clinton go at it at next year’s WrestleMania and Lewinksy and Clinton fighting in 2019.

American politics will never be the same, we could very well see the death of the Electoral College and the birth of Electoral Smack Down.

I have never been more proud to be an American in my life and I love seeing our country put the right foot forward.

If nothing else, Trump is certainly playing a big part of this change in political system.

All this being said, the success of the proposed ideas hinge on the success of the Clash for the Capital between Wyatt and President Trump.

Will there be room for the Electoral Smack Down in 2020? Find out at WrestleMania 33 on Saturday, April 2.

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