By Pat Briggs, Staff Writer

In a stunning turn of events, UMass Dartmouth has gone from worst to first as far as school beauty goes. Last year, the school was named ugliest school in America and this year it was named the most beautiful. Yes, you heard that correctly. Finally, after being built in the mid-1960’s and constantly scrutinized for its horrid architecture, the world has finally realized how gorgeous concrete is. I am not shocked at all. Frankly I have been riding the concrete train all along. Concrete is gorgeous. When I first wondered where I was going to attend school I thought to myself, what school looks the most like a prison? Once I saw UMassD I knew it was the place for me. Not to mention, the cracked stairs and crumbling infrastructure was really the cherry on top. I wasn’t necessarily going for looks, to be honest. I was trying to go to the school that best resembled a bomb shelter. And why shouldn’t that be a priority? If a nuclear bomb is dropped or Massachusetts is invaded by Canada via the East Coast, I want proper protection and no one in their right mind can deny that this school delivers on that front. Many may call me crazy, but I know I am right and I know that concrete is the way of the future. It’s gray, crumbling, and able to withstand nuclear war. These are the most pivotal qualities when building a structure and it is only a matter of time until more American campuses begin following UMassD’s lead into the concrete jungle. This is the school of the future. In fact, I have met hundreds of students who claim they didn’t even care about the school’s academics and only came here because the brutalist architecture was so beautiful and full of life. I couldn’t agree more. I just wish there was more than one UMass Dartmouth.