Is protesting a sport?

By Zack Downing, Staff Writer One of America’s most popular pastimes over the last century has been fighting the higher power in the forms of protesting and rioting. Every year, Americans tune in to their favorite news station to root for the side they think deserves to be victorious. Its popularity has gotten the nation to start wondering one thing: Should protesting be called a … Continue reading Is protesting a sport?

Bernie becomes president through flash mob

By Alex Solari, Staff Writer Remember when everyone scoffed at Bernie becoming president? When people pointed and laughed at “Feel the Bern” stickers? Well guess what? Bernie’s back, and better than ever! Sanders just did what everyone thought was impossible: taking over the Trump administration and destroying every one of the policies Trump has put into place, along with stealing the beloved Melania Trump from … Continue reading Bernie becomes president through flash mob

Owning my own multimillion dollar company

By Michaella Lesieur, Staff Writer Okay, so what student can own their own multimillion dollar company, while only being 22 years old? No questions asked – anyone can! It’s called determination, hard work, and a little bit of luck. So, you may be wondering what this multimillion dollar company is… You might want to check the back tag of your newest shirt you are wearing. … Continue reading Owning my own multimillion dollar company

As Trump continues visits to “Winter White House,” US defaults on national debts

By Jesse Goodwin, Staff Writer Earlier today, President Donald Trump announced that for the first time since the Nixon presidency, the U.S. would default on its debt. The president made his announcement from his Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, colloquially known as the “Winter White House.” According to an analysis from Politico, Trump’s frequent weekend visits to Mar-a-Lago cost about $3 million each. Meanwhile, the … Continue reading As Trump continues visits to “Winter White House,” US defaults on national debts

Oh windmill, windmill, up on high: the matter of windmills

By Don Quixote, Knight From my time tussling with windmills, those greatest of foul beasts and terrors of the night and day and mid-afternoon and evening and slightly before evening and twilight and breakfast and after breakfast, not to mention mid-morning relievings… Anyways, windmills! I come to the kingdom of Dartmouth, to its castle known as UMass. I offer my services to any lord, only … Continue reading Oh windmill, windmill, up on high: the matter of windmills

The hidden demonic horrors of UMass Dartmouth

By Stanley, Opinions and Editorials Editor UMass Dartmouth is full of secrets. To some, the secret could be that your exam tomorrow morning is going to be a failure. To others, these secrets are much deeper. UMass Dartmouth was created in order to serve not students, but demons. Just take a look around campus and you can easily see this is the truth. Concrete, prison-like … Continue reading The hidden demonic horrors of UMass Dartmouth

President arrested after “Trump–tantrum”

By Jesse Goodwin, Staff Writer Yesterday morning, President Donald Trump was arrested outside the White House on charges of disorderly conduct. An enraged Trump was spotted yelling at White House officials, exclaiming that the “fake news media” was undermining his accomplishments as president and cursing “traitors” who voted against the GOP’s American Health Care Act. When police arrived at the scene, they arrested Trump and … Continue reading President arrested after “Trump–tantrum”